lucky me, lucky you

It's a stormy day here, today.

Big dark clouds tumbled in and settled above our house, or so it seems.

I had the local noon news on while I vacuumed ants off the kitchen floor. Again. Ew.

Anyway, so much of the news was dedicated to the Mega Million lottery.

Do you play? I've bought just one ticket about 2 years ago and didn't even know how many numbers to choose.

One of my favorite memories of my grandma was whenever my grandpa would come home with a lotto ticket she would have him read the numbers aloud and she would always say, "oh those are GOOD numbers". And then would always be surprised when they did not win. I love that spirit.

Of course, the thought of winning so much money has to get a person wondering how would life change with that kind of windfall. Would your life change drastically? Or would it change just a little? Would it mean more security in your life or less? Would you purchase more or give more? Could you make those changes without winning great deals of money? What is holding you back?

Honestly, I believe my life wouldn't change dramatically. That alone makes me feel like I've won a great prize already.

Tell me what you think. I'd love to know.


love and light
Deborah

the post that seems like I am writing about trees and flowers....

Sure enough, last week's pear tree looks different today. In full bloom.

But, those blooms won't last. They aren't meant to. By design the flowers will wilt and drop. New green leaves will grow in their place. There is something next. There is always something next. We need not worry about it. It will happen on it's own. With or without our worry. Changes will happen. Growing things will continue to grow. And when we lean into it, even we will grow and stretch and bloom again.

Am I even thinking about trees anymore? ;)


love and light
Deborah

present beauty

The unseasonably warm and sunshiny weather has coaxed the flowers and trees to behave like it is later in the season.

Shocks of yellow daffodils are popping up, as if to say, "look at me, it is Spring time".

I had to get this picture today. Tomorrow, I think, it will look entirely different. The pear trees are just ready to burst into bloom.

I'm feeling similarly. Have you felt that? That feeling like you are just ready to bloom? To make a big change? To transform?

Have you or are you feeling like something wonderful is just around the corner? That you are preparing for a beautiful tomorrow?

What if you recognized the beauty right there in the bud? What if....?


love and light
Deborah

for good measure

What a beautiful morning. How are you? I'm good.
I am also working toward a new health goal. Eating well and moving everyday in March, as well as a measurable goal of a 6 pound weight loss. That's the goal. It is do-able,

If you've read along for the past year and a half or so you know I lost a significant amount of weight in late 2009 and 2010 (about 30 pounds).
The second part of my story is, I gained most of that weight back. But, February was a positive month--I reached my monthly goal of losing 8 pounds.

I am going back to what worked well for me before and changing what didn't work. I don't need to reinvent the wheel, right?

What does that mean? That means that I have scrutinized my every moment of the day.

Getting up near the same time each morning works for me. It is not like sleeping in on the weekends happen easily, anyway. Somehow, most mornings I wake just before the alarm goes off. That makes me think that I am aligned with my body clock, waking naturally instead of a
startle? I'll take it.

So what else is working for me? Starting the day without sugar or sweeteners. For me, that means I have given up morning coffee. I know. I just cannot stomach it without cream and sugar or the equivalent. So, I'm steeping green tea each morning. Sometimes, it is with lemon, other times with nectarine and ginger or even blueberry and pomegranate. I am liking it.

Seems easy enough. What part of your morning routine is working really well for you, I wonder? What could be better?

light and love
Deborah

Cupcakes and Pie

We celebrated Big Red's birthday this week, in fact we are still celebrating.
Yesterday, Red had meetings all over town and I found myself alone with both a half dozen gourmet cupcakes AND a Michigan blueberry crumb pie. Took all the willpower I had to avoid the kitchen. But, I did it.
I am definitely a sugar-chaser. If I have a little sugar in the morning, I will chase it all the live long day.

Last night, I had just half a cupcake. A Just Baked Snowball cupcake. I am still thinking about it. A rich devil's food cake topped with a marshmallowy creamy frosting and shaved coconut. Oh my. I ate every last crumb on the plate. I could have stuck that plate back in the cabinets without anyone the wiser. (I didn't)

This weekend we'll celebrate some more with my big family--with a dinner out, a homemade dessert and a ping-pong tournament.

How do you celebrate with the important people in your life?

love and light and cupcakes
Deborah

pssst....is anyone here?

pssst....anyone?

I am returning to this blog after many many months.
Perhaps, it is a diary now. A very personal diary.

My last post was about struggling with Blogger. This post could be about leaving Blogger only to come back be be even more stumped. That's life, huh?

Summer came and went--with vacations near and far. School started in September and the boys are doing well. Winter has be sunny and unseasonably warm and pretty sn*w free. Blah blah blah.

If you happen to be reading along, thanks. It is nice to have your company.


light and love
deborah

i swear i have stuff to tell you

i have all kinds of stuff to tell you and pictures to show you....but blogger is giving me attitude.

no editing. no copying and pasting. all photos exactly where i don't want them.

i'm in no mood for it. i have other stuff to think (read worry) about. b is driving with an instructor--right this moment.

i'm thinking about buying a driver's ed car--so that i can have a passenger brake and steering option. i'm mostly kidding. mostly.

or can i just pimp my ride? my 10 year old mini-van? that would be sweet, no? :)

alright, that's all i have until i arm-wrestle blogger into submission. i'll try again later. i have a story about baseball and poorly behaved adults. i have a story about what i'm reading, i have a story about setting boundaries and i have a story about snakes. oh, and i am sharing recipes for summer salads.


love and light and attitude
deborah

strawberry legacy

in michigan, strawberry season is just about the time school gets out for summer.

when i was a little girl, my grandparents would go strawberry picking about the middle of june. they picked a lot. trays full--for jam and preserves. and for shortcakes.

on the last day of school, my grands would come over to my house and we'd have homemade strawberry shortcakes. nothing fancy. bisquick shortcakes, very rustic style, marinated strawberries and whipped cream.
to this day, this summer in a bowl dessert makes me think of my favorite things: my grands, summer vacation, and well....strawberries, shortcakes and whipped cream. seriously, what's not to love, right?

so every year, i in turn make strawberry shortcakes for the last day of school celebration around here. this year, the boys had friends over to eat it up with us. and they did. they ate until it was GONE. in about 4 minutes.

hello summa!!!!


love and light and summer in a bowl
deborah

145,000 children

This Father's Day weekend (June 18 and 19), 50 cents from each Wendy's Frosty purchase will be donated to to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption(DTFA,http://davethomasfoundation.org/). Money raised helps kids in foster care find permanent loving homes.
Dave Thomas and I were both adopted. Though, my time in foster care was very short, as i was put up for adoption at birth and placed into my forever family within weeks.

There are over 145,000 children in the foster care system in North America, today.

So if you are thinking about a little sweet this weekend, maybe a Frosty would be just the ticket. You might want to pick one up for dad, too.

love and light and care

deborah

disclosure:i worked with wendy's and themotherhood.com and have received compensation for my participation. all opinions within this post are mine.

intentional summer

our intentions for fun this summer.

we completed it.

well, three of us completed it. one of us, had better things to do. whatev.

but, we've left lots of room for the unexpected.

for fun.
for silliness.
and for the stuff that just has to get done. but, i'm not making a list for that.

that's not unexpected, or fun or silly. that bums me out.

i'm looking forward to doing most of this list. i am not looking forward to a couple of things on this list. aw, but there is something for everyone. i do love that.


love and light and making the most of it
deborah

class is in session

i sat in the van, that was parked safely in the garage and tried to teach b how to drive.

b likes to mess with me. a lot. like all the time. he's my button-pusher.


then, the next day, i put my camera away and took him to a neighborhood to drive. for reals. this is a neighborhood with few houses. even less cars and it seems like no people. of course, there were cars and people and mailboxes and not a straight road in the place.

i panicked a few times. yelled once or twice. i think i swore out loud. and i could feel my heart in my stomach, head and neck. pulsing. hard.

to make matters worse, some goof-ball was lighting fireworks off in his yard, just as we whizzed by at about 7 mph.

when we returned home i looked up *how to teach someone to drive* on google. this is what i read.

If possible, leave your teen's first on-the-road experiences to the care of a professional. Many a nasty accident has occurred because an inexperienced beginner was allowed to get into a situation that was too much to cope with. A miscalculation in speed, a sudden change in traffic conditions, or an awkward combination of circumstances could lead to disaster. The professionals are used to anticipating such problems-and they have the advantage of dual controls. Your task as co-driver is to back up the work of the professionals with well-planned and coordinated practice sessions.--fromdrivers.com.

i knew it.

i am a mom.
i am a pretty good cook.
i am a pretty good psychologist.
i am a pretty good nurse.
i am a pretty good barber.
i am a pretty good math teacher.
i am a pretty good referee.
i am a pretty good accountant.

i am a lousy driving instructor.

that's all. class dismissed.


love and light and I SAID BRAKE
deborah

p.s. this morning as we were dropping off my son's friend (after the official first day of driver's ed), someone did a bit of a lawn job while pulling out of the friend's driveway. it happens to the best of us right? yeah. i was driving. awesome.

intentional summer

our intentions for fun this summer.

we completed it.

well, three of us completed it. one of us, had better things to do. whatev.

but, we've left lots of room for the unexpected.
for fun.
for silliness.
and for the stuff that just has to get done. but, i'm not making a list for that.

that's not unexpected, or fun or silly. that bums me out.

i'm looking forward to doing most of this list. i am not looking forward to a couple of things on this list. aw, but there is something for everyone. i do love that.


love and light and making the most of it
deborah

and the livin' is easy

it is almost summer. almost. tomorrow is the last day of school around here--that's my measurement.

i still love summer vacation. love it. love my boys being on our family schedule--as goofy as that is, sometimes.

every last day of school we make a list--and i'm not much of a list maker. but, we(all four of us) make a list of all the things we'd like to do,see,visit,learn, make,try and experience over the short michigan summer.

we started the summer list because as b was ending the school year in 2000, i had just given birth to his new baby brother and i was hoping a list of things from b would help me stay balanced and attuned to both kids--little and itty-bitty. the early baby days of nursing and bathing, napping and burping slip away too quickly and i wanted to make the most of summer for b too. admittedly, i was afraid balancing the needs of two kids would be near impossible. the summer list eased this worry. we did fine, if i remember correctly.

so tomorrow, we'll make our list and do a few other things to celebrate the end of another successful school year. i'll post our list next week. in the meantime, what do you most want to do, see, visit, make, try and experience this summer?



love and light and summmertime
deborah

send

i did it. i really did it. i did it this time.

i've need to call the place down the road that teaches driver's education.

i know i needed to. i've needed to for quite some time.

not for me. for this little guy.

alright, that's an old picture. but, in my mind he will always be a little like that.
even though he is much more like this.

i linked everything i could to the driving.
not a perfect grade = no driving school.
forget to put your bike away properly = no driving school.
leaving backpack in the middle of the hallway = no driving school.
not wearing his retainer = no driving school.

truly, no rhyme or reason.

but our son has been patient. i mean REALLY--break out the capital letters, PATIENT.

let me just say--i know it is not his issue.

it's mine. all mine.

and the issue isn't really driving.

it's control.

and i realize that my fear, anxiety and worry is that i cannot control what happens to my children, my growing young man in this world.

i am happiest and most at ease when i know that all my people are safe at home. unfortunately, my people aren't so accommodating to being tucked in at home all the time.

there was a time that i thought that i feared my child driving. i have no reason to think b isn't ready. i have no reason to think he will be a bad or careless driver. and then i realized, my dad was driving the day he was hit head-on and he is an excellent driver. he did what he could to avoid being hit and probably saved my mom in the process, but he was hit. he could not control the person in the other car.

we cannot control the actions of someone else.

let me say that again (mostly for myself)--we cannot control the actions of someone else.

but we can control some things. things like preparing ourselves and our children through education and example. we can give them an advantage, by offering skills and knowledge. by giving them boundaries, so at least they know when they've crossed them.

so last week, i called b over and asked him to look over the registration. i had signed him up.

after a few minutes, b says, "hit the *send* button, mom"

it's a big step for me. and for my son.

now, i might need to throw-up. but, i'm prepared.


love and light and big steps
deborah

what's the ball count?

we've been celebrating a birthday around here, this week. celebrating our youngest son.

which also means, i've been baking like a fool.

yes, i mean that literally--like a fool.

i baked two 9 inch rounds for a traditional two layer birthday cake. (i don't really like cake and i really don't like sheet cakes....sheet cakes are not festive, in my mind)

that being said, i should have baked a sheet cake.

i let the cakes cool and then began frosting them. the rounded top required a lot more frosting than i had originally figured. all frosted, i carefully covered the cake with the glass dome. i could decorate with swirly lettering after i had cut up two cantalopes and four pounds of strawberries.

this is what i found.

www.cakewrecks.com has nothing on me.

so, then i baked two dozen cupcakes, because i really couldn't put candles in that cake. it would be overkill, right?

then yesterday i made another 48 cupcakes for our little guy's class. and now today i am baking another 48 cupcakes for his baseball team and their families.

oh, and all those little cupcakes are decorated to look like baseballs....if you do the math (i'll save you the trouble) that makes 120 baseball cupcakes.

um, i thought i didn't bake.

oh. yeah. i don't bake WELL.

that's all i've got....i hear the timer going off. sheesh, i hope it's the timer and not the fire alarm.


love and light and cake
deborah

quote for wednesday

"be kind and merciful. let no one ever come to you without coming away better and happier." -- mother teresa


love and light and refreshing rains
deborah

puzzled

r's been wanting a rubik's cube for weeks now.

do you remember them?

the package said it was the 30th anniversary edition.

30th?

holy. moly.

that can't be right. can it?

over the weekend, he received one. he can get one side all the same color. and it did come with the solution. however, r is certain if we give him just one more hour he'll have it figured out.

aw.

i love that confidence.

but, now i'm really puzzled.

this is what i came across this morning when i went to open all the blinds and drapes.

if i come back up here and true has it all figured out--expect to see us on the evening news. er, well....the evening news is a little 30 years ago. expect to see us on youbtube.com.



love and light and confidence
deborah

making decisions

i want to begin by thanking all of you that sent brandie some virtual ((((hugs)))) and support. truly. thank you. brandie's surgery went well and she is recovering--now at home.

************************************************************************************
so i put it *out there* that i am considering breaking-up with my blog.

it's not you....it's me.

i'm considering.

thank you to those of you that left a comment or sent an e-mail to not shut down the blog. i still am not sure what i'm going to do. it's either i step it up or shut it down. i know. i can be a little contradictory. it happens. i do that, sometimes.

my intention was really never to be a blogger.
i swear.

originally, i wanted to post pics of my art. (that, like almost never happens.)


i don't consider myself a writer....at all.
i consider myself someone that loves to tell stories and hear stories and read stories and share what i know and learn from other people. somehow, that led me to blogging.

it seems that so much of what would make great blog posts (in my mind) aren't my stories to tell. we have a teenager. our conversations and what is going through my mind daily....sometimes hourly would make amazing blog posts. but, shockingly--16 year old boy-men, don't want their mommas sharing with the world all their business. i know--the injustice, right?

there is other stuff too. but the young man stuff is blog worthy. so, i'm trying to figure that out. actually, it's not so much the *young man* stuff--but, the momma of a young man stuff. this is the stuff life is made of--the messy and interesting, the funny and dramatic, the scary and courageous stuff. i can feel myself stretching and growing everyday. some days, i rock mothering. some days--i'm an epic fail. (of course, we do not say *epic fail* anymore....it's overused--says one 16 year old, that shares our home)


i thought i would still be teaching my son at this time in his life. i suppose i am. but, i really had no idea i would be the student most days. i love this boy more than my heart can take sometimes. sometimes, i'd just like to hold him tight tight tight. those are usually the days when i need to let him loose a little more.

so now that is leading me to some new decisions--directions that i have to decide how to follow. but, i'm getting good at leading from behind, anyway.


love and light and good decisions
deborah

hey, friend

well hello there.

i was considering shutting down this blog. i'm considering a lot of things.

but today, i am mostly thinking about my friend. i've never met her in person but, have known her for over two years. we became friends over hundreds of chats and conversations as editors for themotherhood.com.

this is brandie.

today, she is undergoing a bilateral mastectomy. and i am here--in michigan and she's in chicago.

the internet has a way of bringing people together that would not likely meet otherwise. i love that. but some days, i wish i could be there in person.

it isn't my story to tell, it's hers and she writes at a journey of 1000 stitches.
it would be SA-WEET if you showed up there and gave her more support. a virtual hug isn't exactly like a physical hug....but it's something. and some days, you feel like you need to be able to do something, you know?


love and light and ((((hugs))))
deborah

cheerio love

funny how things line up.

i borrowed a copy of elizabeth gilbert's most recent book, her follow-up to "eat pray love"--"committed". i'm about half-way through. it's about marriage--about getting and staying, about avoiding and considering; it's about the history of marriage, both recent and long ago. fascinated and curious, i am.

we really didn't know a lick of anything when we married (big red and i). it's a statistical miracle we are still married. we didn't have a whole lot going for us. under 30, both took on new jobs just before getting hitched, not much money, red was still going to school and a honeymoon baby. but here we are--still together.

tomorrow is the big wedding in the u.k.--or haven't you heard. ;)
i'm not that interested, but i need to be home a good part of the day tomorrow to finish up a project. so i'll probably catch highlights.

i watched back in 1981 when charles married diana. and like many young girls, i secretly wished to be a princess like that. that amazes me now. why? why? why? probably because i didn't understand a lick about marriage. it was still all fairytales and butterflies, in my thoughts then.


it's alright though, as it appears i am not really royality-friendly.

i am, however taking last minute reservations for the nuptials. in honor of william and kate's upcoming wedding...
your royal wedding guest name - start with either lord or lady. your first name is one of your grandparents’ names. your surname is the name of your first pet, double-barreled with the name of the street you grew up on.


love and light and cheerio
lady dorothy sage of park