puzzled

r's been wanting a rubik's cube for weeks now.

do you remember them?

the package said it was the 30th anniversary edition.

30th?

holy. moly.

that can't be right. can it?

over the weekend, he received one. he can get one side all the same color. and it did come with the solution. however, r is certain if we give him just one more hour he'll have it figured out.

aw.

i love that confidence.

but, now i'm really puzzled.

this is what i came across this morning when i went to open all the blinds and drapes.

if i come back up here and true has it all figured out--expect to see us on the evening news. er, well....the evening news is a little 30 years ago. expect to see us on youbtube.com.



love and light and confidence
deborah

making decisions

i want to begin by thanking all of you that sent brandie some virtual ((((hugs)))) and support. truly. thank you. brandie's surgery went well and she is recovering--now at home.

************************************************************************************
so i put it *out there* that i am considering breaking-up with my blog.

it's not you....it's me.

i'm considering.

thank you to those of you that left a comment or sent an e-mail to not shut down the blog. i still am not sure what i'm going to do. it's either i step it up or shut it down. i know. i can be a little contradictory. it happens. i do that, sometimes.

my intention was really never to be a blogger.
i swear.

originally, i wanted to post pics of my art. (that, like almost never happens.)


i don't consider myself a writer....at all.
i consider myself someone that loves to tell stories and hear stories and read stories and share what i know and learn from other people. somehow, that led me to blogging.

it seems that so much of what would make great blog posts (in my mind) aren't my stories to tell. we have a teenager. our conversations and what is going through my mind daily....sometimes hourly would make amazing blog posts. but, shockingly--16 year old boy-men, don't want their mommas sharing with the world all their business. i know--the injustice, right?

there is other stuff too. but the young man stuff is blog worthy. so, i'm trying to figure that out. actually, it's not so much the *young man* stuff--but, the momma of a young man stuff. this is the stuff life is made of--the messy and interesting, the funny and dramatic, the scary and courageous stuff. i can feel myself stretching and growing everyday. some days, i rock mothering. some days--i'm an epic fail. (of course, we do not say *epic fail* anymore....it's overused--says one 16 year old, that shares our home)


i thought i would still be teaching my son at this time in his life. i suppose i am. but, i really had no idea i would be the student most days. i love this boy more than my heart can take sometimes. sometimes, i'd just like to hold him tight tight tight. those are usually the days when i need to let him loose a little more.

so now that is leading me to some new decisions--directions that i have to decide how to follow. but, i'm getting good at leading from behind, anyway.


love and light and good decisions
deborah

hey, friend

well hello there.

i was considering shutting down this blog. i'm considering a lot of things.

but today, i am mostly thinking about my friend. i've never met her in person but, have known her for over two years. we became friends over hundreds of chats and conversations as editors for themotherhood.com.

this is brandie.

today, she is undergoing a bilateral mastectomy. and i am here--in michigan and she's in chicago.

the internet has a way of bringing people together that would not likely meet otherwise. i love that. but some days, i wish i could be there in person.

it isn't my story to tell, it's hers and she writes at a journey of 1000 stitches.
it would be SA-WEET if you showed up there and gave her more support. a virtual hug isn't exactly like a physical hug....but it's something. and some days, you feel like you need to be able to do something, you know?


love and light and ((((hugs))))
deborah