Monday, June 13, 2011

class is in session

i sat in the van, that was parked safely in the garage and tried to teach b how to drive.

b likes to mess with me. a lot. like all the time. he's my button-pusher.

then, the next day, i put my camera away and took him to a neighborhood to drive. for reals. this is a neighborhood with few houses. even less cars and it seems like no people. of course, there were cars and people and mailboxes and not a straight road in the place.

i panicked a few times. yelled once or twice. i think i swore out loud. and i could feel my heart in my stomach, head and neck. pulsing. hard.

to make matters worse, some goof-ball was lighting fireworks off in his yard, just as we whizzed by at about 7 mph.

when we returned home i looked up *how to teach someone to drive* on google. this is what i read.
If possible, leave your teen's first on-the-road experiences to the care of a professional. Many a nasty accident has occurred because an inexperienced beginner was allowed to get into a situation that was too much to cope with. A miscalculation in speed, a sudden change in traffic conditions, or an awkward combination of circumstances could lead to disaster. The professionals are used to anticipating such problems-and they have the advantage of dual controls. Your task as co-driver is to back up the work of the professionals with well-planned and coordinated practice

i knew it.

i am a mom.
i am a pretty good cook.
i am a pretty good psychologist.
i am a pretty good nurse.
i am a pretty good barber.
i am a pretty good math teacher.
i am a pretty good referee.
i am a pretty good accountant.

i am a lousy driving instructor.

that's all. class dismissed.

love and light and I SAID BRAKE

p.s. this morning as we were dropping off my son's friend (after the official first day of driver's ed), someone did a bit of a lawn job while pulling out of the friend's driveway. it happens to the best of us right? yeah. i was driving. awesome.


  1. I got in an accident in the driver's ed. car. Nuff said.

  2. I remember when I was driving in a quiet neighborhood with the professional my mom hired to teach me to drive. I was going so slowly that a bunch of 12 year olds decided to taunt me by circling my car, in slow motion, on their bikes. I wish I were making that up.

  3. Good thing you have a sense of humor about it all--that is part of good parenting! Of course you will look back on this and laugh--some day :)

  4. Deborah, that's a great entry! Love the photos! I remember those days...and I can't stop laughing at Becki's comment (sorry, Becki!)

  5. Brilliant!! That made me laugh, especially the PS!! Please come with me when I have to take Patrick out for the first time!

  6. Funny, I just
    secured my daughter's
    three, two-hour sessions
    behind the wheel, yesterday.
    She'll start a few days
    after she gets home from
    Italy. Am I ready? Nope.
    I do like Google's advice.
    My hubby took her out last
    summer to drive and it wasn't
    a great experience and then
    she didn't want to do it at
    all! So, here we go....
    Are YOU ready? You seem to be!
    xx Suzanne

  7. Love your story, Deborah - especially the P.S. I have 3 years till I'm in that passenger seat yelling I SAID BRAKE!! NOT looking forward to it. My mom was a very nervous passenger/driver's ed teacher...she'd yell "You've got a stop sign!!!!" WAAAAAAY before the sign, and of course I was supposed to start braking. I'm sure the cars behind me enjoyed it as well. Hang in there and we'll all be sending good thoughts to you and your son. Someday you'll look back and laugh...but yes, that will be years from now when he's teaching his kids to drive... :)