i've need to call the place down the road that teaches driver's education.
i know i needed to. i've needed to for quite some time.
not for me. for this little guy.
alright, that's an old picture. but, in my mind he will always be a little like that.
even though he is much more like this.
i linked everything i could to the driving.
not a perfect grade = no driving school.
forget to put your bike away properly = no driving school.
leaving backpack in the middle of the hallway = no driving school.
not wearing his retainer = no driving school.
truly, no rhyme or reason.
but our son has been patient. i mean REALLY--break out the capital letters, PATIENT.
let me just say--i know it is not his issue.
it's mine. all mine.
and the issue isn't really driving.
it's control.
and i realize that my fear, anxiety and worry is that i cannot control what happens to my children, my growing young man in this world.
i am happiest and most at ease when i know that all my people are safe at home. unfortunately, my people aren't so accommodating to being tucked in at home all the time.
there was a time that i thought that i feared my child driving. i have no reason to think b isn't ready. i have no reason to think he will be a bad or careless driver. and then i realized, my dad was driving the day he was hit head-on and he is an excellent driver. he did what he could to avoid being hit and probably saved my mom in the process, but he was hit. he could not control the person in the other car.
we cannot control the actions of someone else.
let me say that again (mostly for myself)--we cannot control the actions of someone else.
but we can control some things. things like preparing ourselves and our children through education and example. we can give them an advantage, by offering skills and knowledge. by giving them boundaries, so at least they know when they've crossed them.
so last week, i called b over and asked him to look over the registration. i had signed him up.
after a few minutes, b says, "hit the *send* button, mom"
it's a big step for me. and for my son.
now, i might need to throw-up. but, i'm prepared.
love and light and big steps
deborah
